every little girl's dream...

…is for her blog to be just like this.  Having extra time now that the EVENT is over, and I don’t need to be obsessively planning, I have begun obsessively blogreading again.  (Is that a word?  If not, it should be.  I declare it so.  *PING of NEW WORD*)

 

I mean, seriously, can you be a cooler person?  Loving, awesome mom and awesome person in the same body – this is what every girl in my generation swears/hopes/dreams she will be when she is a mom, instead of a version of her own mother.

 

I say this with the full knowledge and understanding (because marriage brings such wisdom of the female condition and what it is to be a “woman”… nota bene the sarcasm…) that my own mom is a loving, awesome mom and awesome person in the same body, but from an older generation than Maggie.  If my mom’s generation had blogs, I like to imagine hers would have been similar to Maggie’s.  Except with references to the drabness that is NE Ohio in the winter and the glory of Ohio in spring, not the always superior moments of San Francisco.

 

 

would you help an indie out?

HELP OUT OVAL OPUS!

Dear Friends,

Thank you to everyone for your continued support of Oval Opus in the “Myth Farewell Tour - Battle of the Bands” contest. Oval Opus is in the running to be the headliner thanks to all of your efforts.

We are now asking for your help more than ever as we make the final push towards victory. There are only 9 days left... please see how you can help below.

The band members have always been advocates of goodwill within our community. In particular, they have supported the Dubunkify mission of raising awareness about the hazards of using tobacco products. The winner of the contest will perform on July 14th on the campus of Ohio State University.

You can vote every 24 hours, so please find the time to support a great band that supports a great cause and serves as a positive role model in today’s society.

How can you help?

1. Vote-vote-vote!!! Vote here every day. 

2. Re-post this or a similar bulletin on your MySpace account.

3. Forward this message to everyone you know!

4. Add Oval Opus to your top 8 friends list.

5. Come see Oval Opus perform on July 14th (with your help).

Results will be announced on June 26th. Good luck to all participating bands!

 

Excuse for a Party: No. 137

This is a pretty cool idea. I heard about this via Universe Today. It was posted on the Scientific American Blog: 66 beer bottles = one cheap rooftop solar water heater.

I guess that would be one good way to recycle the massive number of beer bottles we have in our fridge at present. Although, that would require emptying them first…

Killian’s anyone?

wedding countdown...

We are getting married in T-minus three days and counting.

 

I am most excited about the cookie table.  My mom has made 5 dozen each of four different kinds of cookies, my dad has made 6 kolachi (which is about 180 pieces when cut), three aunts have made cookies, and Steve’s mom is making cookies.  YAY!!!  Considering that was the one thing I really wanted when we started planning the wedding, it’s turned out nicely.

 

Dress is just fitting me.  I’ve unfortunately put back on some weight since buying it but it still fits.  Doesn’t help that I’m nervous and bloated, but hey, that’s what control top undergarments are for right?

 

I’ve made two cheesecakes and about two dozen kiffels, still more kiffels to make.  Unfortunately I burned my LEFT ring finger making the cheesecake.  This came after a major hangnail incident and being STABBED under the fingernail by the multiflora rosebush I was trying to take down in the backyard… both on the same LEFT RING FINGER.  It’s like karma for not wearing my engagement ring while doing these activities or something.  Fortunately, all the injuries are healing nicely, probably thanks to the good nights of sleep I’ve been getting lately.  My body is finally on a good schedule, so able to take care of itself.

perfect wedding tips...

1)       Reduce invite-addressing stress by drinking when doing this task.  It puts in perspective that whether or not you get the last name of Uncle’ Sam’s fiancée’s right…they will still come to the wedding.  And if they don’t poo on them.

2)       Buy a dress with a corset bodice = no alterations = no stress about gaining/losing weight from the stress of not gaining weight

3)       Make sure you delegate as many tasks as possible.  However, you should also know that you will have to make final decisions ANYWAY, so make them BEFORE you delegate – no one believes you when you say you do not care what color your dad’s tux vest ends up.

4)       Use the money you would have wasted on nasty wedding cake that is too dry/too sweet/too melty/too tart to get chocolate covered strawberries for EVERYONE.  People might actually eat those.

5)       No one will understand why you put them at their table… and will move to the one they want to be at anyway.  So DO NOT waste your time trying to figure out if Aunt Myrtle will like your Cousin Eunice, or if it is worth putting near-sighted Uncle Fred at a table close to the dance floor when he’ll leave right after the meal.  Put all the names in a hat, and randomly assign table numbers to each guest by drawing them.  Or use dice to roll table numbers for each guest group. 

6)       Forget favors – spend the money on the band.  Everyone always throws them out as soon as they get home anyway.

7)       Buy comfortable shoes you can wear again.

8)       Buy the dress you like, even if it is more than you pay for rent each month and will only wear once.

9)       Get supplies at the Dollar Tree – no one will know.  No one will care, even if they do know!

10)   Marry your best friend.  ;-)

 

Hellooo...

Yes I know I have been not posting. New job, trying to actually work at, rather than goof off and get fired. A job where I have actual work to do most days most of the day, rather than "set up random experiment, wait 4 hours without doing anything else."

I do like the new job. A LOT. Which is why I won't blog about it, cause I'm not stupid.

Wedding plans are done... now it is little piddly stuff like checking on vendors and confirming reservations. The cake is ordered, the rings are picked up, we have the marriage license in hand as of Friday, and I have to go email the reception hall chick about how to spend more money (since our friends are bailing on us left and right after we invited them...).

Ciao!

this is IT

Ladies and gentlemen of Blogville... I present to you, my last will and testament... as a grad student. (Tomorrow is my LAST DAY EVAR...I start the new job on January 8, 2007... so you will see slightly less of me as there will be no new blogging from work... only home during free time, which I will have blessedly MORE of after tomorrow).

To my bench, I leave clean paper and no dust.

To my pipettes, I leave the opportunity to work for someone new.

To myself, I leave with fear of the unknown but courage to face new opportunity. All I have to do is turn in the darn thing tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

AH!

My thesis is finished. I think. I am walking away from it... saved in multiple places. I have to take a break. I am hoping to print it out and check it out on Saturday or Monday, then make any changes I need to... then to print it out for the graduate school. I am SOOOO tired.

Nicole

defense

:-)

I passed!

Now I just have to finish up and get these papers and myself out of here...I start my new job on January 8 - I won't say where, but it is my DREAM JOB. Gives me even more proof that this (leaving grad school with my Masters) is the right decision.

in... and out...

Oiy.

My masters thesis defense/meeting is tomorrow. Please pray extra hard for me today and tomorrow. I am trying not to obsess. I am trying to go over what I do know, and refreshing my memory and keeping things straight. I am confident - I know my stuff. I am just a little worried that I'll forget that when I set foot in that room.

I just have to remember to pull myself together if that happens. I remember my candidacy exam, I feel apart when I didn't know the answer to something. It was all down hill from there. But the last time I presented, I didn't know the answer to a question. Some discussion ensued, and I had a moment to recognize I was losing it. So I took a deep breath, told myself to pull it together, and did. Then I finished the presentation and did well. So I KNOW I can do this. I deserve this! I have worked and worked and worked, and yea, I am not staying to finish my Ph.D., but at the very least, I deserve to be recognized for the work I have done!

Just breathe. Deep breaths. Try not to pass out or hyperventilate.

Christmas goodness

There is a-plenty of Christmas around. ALL OVER MY FLOOR. ALL OVER MY FIANCE'S FLOOR. I just can't seem to get any of it on the tree. I'm not feeling the Christmas spirit this year. I only bought presents online, and because I felt obligated to get everyone something. Christmas music holds no appeal. I don't fully understand this. Part of it may be the little bit of depression, but I am feeling particularly low this season. The past few ones have been low, since my grandfather passed away during the holiday season in 2000, but usually I can still manage to enjoy it to an extent, while still honoring those memories of him.

This year, though, there is more emotional and physical baggage. A LOT OF stuff going on. I am motivated to do everything else, because also on my floor/my fiance`'s floor are...

-) at least four loads of laundry (how I have yet to run out of underwear is a question of cosmic quantum mechanics).

-) about ten pairs of shoes

-) various wedding accessories

-) books books and more books

That, and I just finished my written masters thesis yesterday. My brain hurts. Time for some weekend celebrating...WHOOOT WOOT!

chapter 3

Driving home in the pouring rain is never Elan’s idea of a good time. Still, she thinks, this is a challenge. Everyone else seems to totally flip out at the thought of slick roads – she just white knuckles the steering wheel and grits her teeth to help with the stress.

Finally home, she kicks off her shoes and heads straight for the shower. Anything short of scrubbing her skin off will help get rid of the stress of the day, despite the constant ringing of the cell phone.

“DAMMIT!!”

She waits for it to stop. It rings again and again and again, then stops just as she’s exiting the shower. Just for that, she thinks, I’m not calling you back right away” as she sinks into the couch with a hot cup of cider and the microwave dinner she had picked up on the way home.

second installment

Elan decided that going home was the best option, but that going home to no food was not. Stopping at the local organic food store on the way home would be the BEST option.

So off to the market she goes. And there bumps into none other than ... this guy. This guy she knows... what was his name again? Brett? Brandon? WAIT...Brad. "You remember him... the tall, sandy blonde that ignored you in college? That agreed to escort you to that dance?" she says to herself. "Oh yes... just one of many heartbreaks/heartbreakers..." she muses to her self.

"Oiy! Brad! What's up!?"

Not much. Just moved here for a new job. What about you?

Working, as usual. The funny thing is that they never tell you that the work doesn't stop with college, it just gets more focused and pointless.

Seriously!

Hey, I gotta run, but it was good seeing you!

Yeah, you too. Hey we should totally get together some time... what's your number?

We should definitely ... my fiance` and you would really get along.

Oh.

What... "oh."???

You're engaged?!

Uh, yeah. See the ring? (she blatantly waves the rock on her left hand... boys.)

--
In any event, they exchange numbers. Elan knows he won't call and doesn't totally intend to call him either. She'll pass it to her fiance` and tell him to call. Or to remind her to call - that will pretty much ensure that the call will never be made. Reconnecting with old crushes is not high on the priority list with a wedding to plan.

what love can't make better...

As much as I want to write a great post tonight, I can't. I have to go write a summary on stress granules and Processing bodies. Yay. :-| So this will be a short but sweet one.

I need to write more other than complaining. So now for your reading enjoyment, a short story... or a short part of a short story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The sky was inky black. Aside from the faint glow of the street lamps. It made it look almost like a charcoal drawing, with extra color from pastels added into the scene.

The protagonist of our story stepped out into the warm fall and made the brief observation that it was certainly warm for November. What to do next? To the library for a brief jaunt through the periodicals section for an article, then home to some food... or to the store to buy more food... or what else she didn't know. She just new that after standing all day, and trying desparately to focus on what her hands were doing, she wanted to allow her mind to wander aimlessly. To let her mind call the shots and to cause her fingers to dance gingerly over the keys and let out the thoughts that, like her, had been trapped inside all day - away from the light, hidden in the basement, and kept away from the world. Perhaps allowing them to spill would lighten the load and free her focus to accomplish the things she was required to do (not necessarily NEEDED to do, because that might imply she would rather be doing those things than anything else...).

She stepped out. And let her mind wander with her feet.

cha-cha-cha

So I have started applying for jobs. I found some cool technical writing jobs, some quality analysis jobs, some editor positions. Applied for them all.

I have an interview. For a real JOB. Exciting stuff. Apparently, I'm good on paper.

In other news, saw the Psych today. Quick 30 minute appointment (actually 20, because even though I was there 8 minutes EARLY, we didn't start til 10 after 8.)... upped my dosage of Zoloft to 100mgs per day (I know, you care SOOOO Much about this...). In all, making progress. I have an intake appointment for individual counseling on Monday, so hopefully that will go well. I feel better, if that is any indication of progress.

I also bought THIS... to help with my ultra dry hands. It WORKS baby. Go buy some before the weather gets truly crappy and so does your skin.

L8r.

hat day

So it is official. I have decided to leave graduate school with my masters degree at the end of this quarter.

YEE HAW!...Oh crap now I need to get a job. And no more parental assistance. Oh crap oh crap oh crap oh crap.... But I will be done with school! I can get a JOB. Doing something I LOVE (versus something that frustrates me to no end!)

Let the celebration of life change commence...

And... in light of that... today is the first day of the fall season I have worn a hat. My Ushuaia hat to be exact (see my flicker strip below right...).

More substantial posts later...

new life...

*Warning: this post contains highly contemplative spiritual and Catholic Christian content. If you are offended by the sharing of other's spiritual experiences, I encourage you to read on so you can actually comment that you are offended at the CONTENT (i.e. my opinions), rather than ranting at me for posting on a spiritual TOPIC.*

I finished chapter 40 of "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren this morning. WOW. I started it thinking, maybe this will help me discern my purpose in life - meaning, I would know what job to have, how to raise my kids, etc.

I realized after finishing this book (mind you, I finished the first 20 or so chapters, then came back to it...) that my PURPOSE is not the activities... not the job... not MY purpose. It's God's purpose. For me. So my life decisions are more about "will this allow me the freedom to fufill God's purpose for me in this life?".. and less "is this where I am supposed to be?".

This means a lot for me, since I am all in the midst of major life changes (school, getting married, having family move, etc.) and making decisions for what direction to take. There may be more than one "right place" for me to be that will fit into God's purpose for me. I just have to be open to fufilling that purpose, whether I know what it is or not. Right now, I am in the dark, and I know that is for a reason. Free will is what it is - free - so I have to make these decisions on my own. I've been praying for the Holy Spirit to enlighten me.

Or rather I am praying for God to open my heard to His word and the Holy Spirit. I have only had a few life experiences where I've been truly enlightened. As of late, I am realizing it's more about me opening up and listening to myself. When it comes down to it though, I truly believe that we all possess a certain amount of Divinity - we are all created in God's image and for His purpose - so listening very carefully, God can speak through our heart by raising the volume of that Divinity He put in us. That's what I'm trying to do.

Right now, I am realizing that though I am good at what I do right now, that there are other talents God has granted me with that I am wasting. So my goal is to not waste my talent - I was blessed with it for a reason. I was blessed with the talents I have (as developed or undeveloped as they may be) to fulfull God's purpose, and using the talents I have and developing the talents I have will help me do that.

So here's my mantra to help me remember my purposes for life: I have to live my life so that I can use my talents to the fullest, mazimize my openess to living my God-given purpose, and be the best person I can be by practicing my faith in my small, everyday actions and decisions.

Have a great weekend!

"three weeks"

Okay, I feel absolutely cruddy today. It is thundering and lightning, and I would rather be in bed. Not much longer til I am, so this is a quicky to let you all know I am alive, the meds are starting to kick in and kick my butt, and that I am absolutely scared out of my mind.

Change freaks the crap out of me. I am contemplating a major life change, and the question I have is whether the risk is worth it. Will I be able to handle it better than I am handling myself in my current life? Or will I crash and burn? I suppose being absolutely miserable makes any options better than life at present.

Wish me luck...

keep on, keep on...

Yeah.  I know I sound like a retro song, but that is all I can do at the moment.  You get opera when I feel better.

I started on meds last week.  So far... nothing, except I noticed that I actually feel tired in the evening when it is time for bed, versus absolutely WIRED like before.  So my sleep/wake cycle is getting fixed at least.  Supposedly, I won't notice any behavioral or emotional changes for a few weeks.  I have noticed I feel somewhat shaky... or rather more than normal if I don't eat.  So I just have to keep an eye on that.  Maybe a little more wired during the day?  Don't know if that's the meds or the new coffee maker.

Oiy... I almost forgot.

I got a new Senseo coffeemaker... for FREE.  Yes, I am so wonderfully great and a fabulous blogger that the Senseo people sent me a free coffeemaker.  Well, er.. um.  Here's the story...

~flash back to shortly after we registered at Macy's, when I was all jazzed on STUFF!  More STUFF! That I will not buy but will receive miraculously!  STUFF!  Note that I am only now semi-recovered from the fine china-induced high of bridezilla-ness...~

I get an email from weddingchannel.com, where our Macy's registry is through, because apparently this huge store can't afford a web designer/web management department to link their registry stuff to their online page.  Whatever.  I read the email stating that "you may be eligible to receive a FREE Senseo coffemaker!".  Given my mood, and that I have Always wanted one but never bought it nor would register for one because it is a Weird Gift No One Will Buy Me and Too Expensive to Rationalize Adding Along With the KitchenAid Mixer, I decide this may be worth 5 minutes and potential junk mail.  I fill out the survey.  I mention that I have a blog, that I usually talk to people about the stuff I buy, etc.

A week later I get an email stating that I am ELIGIBLE and all I have to do to get my Senseo coffeemaker is to go give them my shipping address.  So I do, and am told I will receive my coffeemaker in 3-4 weeks.  I think, well, even if I don't get it, this was fun.  But I hope, and I wait.

Four weeks later, expecting my awesome awesome shoes that Sloth gave me advice on buying from Zappos.com for my wedding, I get a package and think, "Zappos.com doesn't ship DHL.  And this is a big box for those sandals I bought."  I realize with bated breat that this... this is my new Senso coffeemaker!

So I open the box... and proceed to dance around the kitchen.  New toy new toy new toy new toy! 

So I've had it for about a week now.  It is GREAT.  Great with a capital G.  I LOVE it with a capital L.  It makes coffee that tastes just like the stuff I had in Switzerland (best... coffee...ever) with the fun frothy coffee froth, minus the cute little white porcelain cup and cute mini spoon (note to self, register for these).  It also makes tea - Tetley conveniently makes tea bags that are round and fit perfectly.  It makes great steaming hot water, like an electric kettle that is good for apple cider, etc. and measures out exactly the right amount for a packet - that is if I can FIND this in the grocery store this week.

So all in all, my advice:

GO BUY A SENSEO.

Or better yet, win a free one or get a coupon - comment and I'll send you an email with more information.

 

p.s. The sandals, they did arrive the next day in a giant white box marked "ZAPPOS.COM" and they are FABULOUS ...aside from the fact that they are too small.  So I am returning them, and in the meantime, ordered a pair in the next size up in the hopes that they will fit because I LOVE them with a capital L.  STUFF!  More Stuff!!!!

 

holding steady...

The existential issues of where I am at in life continue, however, I've realized I have a WHOLE lot of support to lean on if I feel overwhelmed. And cats to cuddle with as well, which, when you have cats to cuddle, what can't you deal with? Don't worry, I'm not turning into a cat lady or anything. I am just cat checking this week for a friend. Water, food, and a whole lot of play and loving every other day. Not a bad gig. It's therapeutic to say the least.

I have also started doing ceramics. Yes I KNOW I have 10 current crochet projects to finish, and I will finish them. I just like trying new things and being able to switch it up with crafts, or I get bored. Plus it's also therapeutic cause it gets me out of the house and in society, whereas I've yet to find a social network for the crocheting. I'm sure that is something which I'll do at some point.

Weather is turning in OH now. Some trees are turning color already, and it was COLD this morning. The heat actually kicked on in the house! Welcome fall...