Thursday, May 31, 2007

perfect wedding tips...

1)       Reduce invite-addressing stress by drinking when doing this task.  It puts in perspective that whether or not you get the last name of Uncle’ Sam’s fiancée’s right…they will still come to the wedding.  And if they don’t poo on them.

2)       Buy a dress with a corset bodice = no alterations = no stress about gaining/losing weight from the stress of not gaining weight

3)       Make sure you delegate as many tasks as possible.  However, you should also know that you will have to make final decisions ANYWAY, so make them BEFORE you delegate – no one believes you when you say you do not care what color your dad’s tux vest ends up.

4)       Use the money you would have wasted on nasty wedding cake that is too dry/too sweet/too melty/too tart to get chocolate covered strawberries for EVERYONE.  People might actually eat those.

5)       No one will understand why you put them at their table… and will move to the one they want to be at anyway.  So DO NOT waste your time trying to figure out if Aunt Myrtle will like your Cousin Eunice, or if it is worth putting near-sighted Uncle Fred at a table close to the dance floor when he’ll leave right after the meal.  Put all the names in a hat, and randomly assign table numbers to each guest by drawing them.  Or use dice to roll table numbers for each guest group. 

6)       Forget favors – spend the money on the band.  Everyone always throws them out as soon as they get home anyway.

7)       Buy comfortable shoes you can wear again.

8)       Buy the dress you like, even if it is more than you pay for rent each month and will only wear once.

9)       Get supplies at the Dollar Tree – no one will know.  No one will care, even if they do know!

10)   Marry your best friend.  ;-)


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