blogging whilst working

Really... I have things running at the bench, and am breaking briefly.

 

Ack ack... papers in progress stress me out.  I'm just trying to work as efficiently as possible to get the experiments I need.  Rushing does not help me to get quality data, I have found.  I just take my time and get it as I do my work.

 

How does one dress for a horse show?  I am going to one (The New Albany Classic) this Sunday, and am not sure what apparel is appropriate.  Should I do "Columbus Suburban Casual" or "Dublin 20Something Who is Too Cool for Flip Flops"?  I think this may entail some shopping today... as a reward for a hard summers work.  And to see if I can fit into a smaller size shorts/crops, as I am already losing weight from my South Beach diet adventures (see above).

 

By the way, for all you football fans out there... GO BUCKS... BEAT IOWA!!

ch-cha-changes...

So I started the South Beach Diet this week.  Yah...I know "but you don't need to lose weight!"  "you're a stick already!"  Whatever.  My BMI is over 30.  I get winded when I have to go up more than 3 steps.  I have underarm jiggle and I'm only 25.  I NEED to lose weight.

The other reason, and the BIG one, is that I have a history of diabetes in my family... not to mention various cancers.  I am trying to a) reduce my risk for future illness; b) get my outside appearance to help reflect the inside beauty there is in me; and c) I feel pudgy.  I don't like feeling pudgy.  I've been overweight all my life.  I have accepted the fact that I have curves (which I love) and that I will never be a size 0 (I'm big boned, and darn it, I like being able to haul my own heavy suitcase, reach the top shelf with out a stool, and not having to worry about being blown away by a stiff wind.)  All my life, I've loved myself for myself, extra curves and all.  But when I feel pudgy, I have trouble doing that.  And I realized the other day that the short term satisfaction I get from downing a WHOLE bag of potato chips isn't worth a future of always wishing I didn't have this little belly roll of mine.

So far, the diet goes well... the first day was easy, the second was not.  Third was easier.  I'm eating well, and have yet to be hungry (except when dinner has to wait til 8 PM, which is a BAD idea...).  I think I've dropped about 5 pounds already.  I'd know for sure if I had weighed myself before the first day... I waited til day 3 to do that.

I'm also trying to clean my house of clutter.  At least my clutter.  And I'm trying to convince the Boyfriend to work with me to clean the Boyfriend's house of his clutter, as it has taken over and I can't stand it any more.  Stacks upon stacks is deemed a proper filing system at both our houses, to the effect that when I or he needs to find something, it is nearly impossible.  And we both end up cleaning like mad before anyone can actually come over.  I'm on a mission, and flylady.net is helping.  What's funny, is that I am the opposite of that at work.  All my data is meticulously kept in color coded notebooks with dividers, read papers are filed, I keep a computer file of all references, and I label/colorcode the bejeebers out of all experiments.  I think by the time I get home I'm so exhausted from it that I blow off cleaning/laundry/bills, etc. 

Here's to the babysteps to turn this life o'mine around.

sucker bet

I bet my boyfriend of a year and 5 months that his mom will ask me, with in the next two months, about us getting engaged.  I only bet him a quarter, but I think I'm going to win.  Ahahahah... Sucker!  :-)

flickr

Long time no blog. Quickie updates since last post:

Back from NYC.

Started Flickr account (I love it! But will not post all pics as public, so if you want the good stuff, sign me up as a contact).

Have posted NYC pics.

Have large plans to scrapbook all existing pictures that are not scrapbooked. That's a lot of pictures.

At standstill on experiments. Darn cells don't want to expand!

Have started working on review article(s). Wrote outlines for two different topics, am exploring both to get started filling in the outlines.

And that's all folks...

From far above

IMG_0003
Originally uploaded by LadyNicole.

Where am I?

Reason no. 2 I shouldn't complain

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Originally uploaded by LadyNicole.

Why sleep deprivation is worth it

IMG_0037
Originally uploaded by LadyNicole.

cookies to the person who can name the city...

fun at the conference -- four minis

I'm at the conference. I am tired. I am overwhelmed. I have spent the past two days -- save sleeping and showering and about two hours this morning -- straight on work, with my boss and the most gungho member of our lab. I need a break. Please send support vibes and hug vibes my way.

In more positive news, several of the people I've talked to have expressed interest in my work. Which is cool. :-) Makes it worth it. And my boss is talking about review articles... so I'm on the hunt for a good idea this week here at the conference to get a focus area for it. Wish me luck.

They have freakin' swans on the harbor. How cool is that?

Did you know you can by DNA jeans? Hahahahahahah... Go to http://www.cshl.edu and find the DNA Stuff Store for the link. I'm too lazy.

Monday mini

Don't you love it when you have a big project... just... about... done... and the computer decides to chomp on your Zip drive (SHUT up... the stupid printing service here requires you save your file to a Zip... I know they are outdated, but so are all the computers at work with any equipment on them because we are all too cheap to replace a PC that only has a stupid scanner we use for JUST ABOUT EVERY EXPERIMENT...).  Blea.  Luckily it was also saved on the network drive and the computer hard drive.

 

p.s.  Sunday felt like Monday, so in honor of it being honorary Tuesday, I am doing two minis today...

 

I leave for a trip this week!!!  Going to a conference for work.  Should be interesting as, we are also going to stay a few extra days here, and bum around here, and then fly home.  I mean, what more do you need for fun than a wild and crazy Chinese guy and Google to help find stuff to do?

Friday afternoon aperitif

I don't know what the last word is really... it just sounding good with the alliteration for a mini post title...

 

1.  I'm frantically trying to pull my poster together for this meeting next week.  Have to have it to my boss today.  Yikes.  :-|

 

2.  I have my life back... except I have no life.  Last night, the high point was making french onion dip and being a couch potato.

 

3.  My car is becoming a waste dump.  You know its bad when strange smells start.   Eew.

 

4.  New underwear rocks.  Need I say more?  = )

 

5.  It's FRIDAY... again, need I say more?

 

 

Ack ack!

Oh ... my ... you have to go read EvilScienceChick's most recent post.  Go ... go now!  Now you will know the depths that we graduate students must sink to in order to appease the great and powerful dissertation requirements!

What I have learned since finishing my candidacy exam...

1.  Ignoring your friends for four months and then waking up to realize you have no friends and no one to celebrate with is a very, very bad thing.

 

2.  You CANNOT just pick up where you left off when you cut yourself out for four months.

 

3.  Break, what break?  You don't get a break!  Sleep... who told you that you'd get to sleep now?  It only gets worse honey!

4.  The idea of not having classes or seminars is a good one.  The reality of it is a different story.

 

5.  Paperwork is bad.  Red tape is bad.  Graduate school is really a test to see how well you handle both.

 

6.  Writing a paper is good.  Posters are even better.

 

7.  The weather of the real world is not to be considered comfortable.  Not after spending your existence cooped up in airconditioning continuously for four months.  I have switched from being a freeze baby to being continuously hot.  I can't get enough AC.  Good bye normal body functions... hello freezer!

 

and the last and my personal favorite...courtesy of a friend

 

8.  Finishing your candidacy is like getting out of prison... it's great, except now you have to start over again!

big day minis

1. Today is the wrap up of my candidacy. 9-11 AM. Two hours... as of now, it's T-minus 3 hours and 24 minutes til its over. I want to get started to get it over faster. Please send good vibes my way if you read this before the 11 o'clock hour is done!

2. My boyfriend is wonderful, but he is messy and sneaky about it. I came in through the front door for the first time in several weeks and saw the mess I HAD missed by coming in through the garage. He decided perhaps it is a good idea that I keep coming in through the garage.

3. How is it that nervous stomach makes you productive? I was awake at 5 AM, but stayed in bed til the alarm at 6:30. I'm now at work at ... 7:37 AM as of now... and rip raring to go. I guarantee however, that I will have crashed by 4:30 PM today.

::UPDATE:: I passed my general exam. Yay! ***POP*** Blogsville champagne for everyone! (Even me, even though I'm working with radioactivity today).

Thursday morning mini

Since it is the fourth day of the week (by my Catholic-trained count)...Here's four lovely mini's for you.

 

1.  I read the other day, in a great book at Borders that I can't remember the name of, that Jaqueline Kennedy popularized the miniskirt by beeing seen in one at lunch.  How cool is that?  I already loved her style... who knew she was funky too?

 

2.  Thursday is one day away from the weekend.  [le sigh]  I am super tired and ready for a weekend free from lab work...

 

3.  An orange fusion new Pontiac G6 GT with panoramic sunroof is my new favorite ride.

 

4.  My mom's birthday is this Saturday.  ::: waves madly ::: HI MOM!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

 

limbo ending

I'm scheduling my re-evaluation for my candidacy. Wish me luck as I enter the "review everything I know and ever ever learned or think I should/might know" phase of limbo. Prayers, thoughts, general good vibes, and, of course, any free food as brain sustenance are greatly appreciated.

In other news... my body has finally decided I need to stop and take a break. After general back "compression" and discomfort, I woke up Monday morning (after a weekend of laziness/study) not being able to move my head. At all. Well, that's an exaggeration. This is my range of movement without pain as of Monday morning (let me tell you, driving in rush hour while having to actually turn my whole body to check my blindspot was a TREAT)....and below is my range of movement now... after 1 visit to the chiropractor.


I go back to the chiropractor today... in about a hour. She's going to adjust my cervical spine and thoracic spine to help correct some of the problem. Initial evaluation is that I have bad posture (duh). I like this doc... she's young, she knows her stuff, and I wonder why I didn't go to a chiropractor before. She's a chiropractor/nutritional counsultant, which means she's all about the holistic medicine and supplements. Appropriately, the practice is called "Healing from Within". Right up my alley. So I feel better today, just knowing I went to the right place. This feeling is after realizing my last physical was four years ago... all the doc visits as of late have been for specific things, not general check ups. After answering all the "general health" questions, I realized I do have a lot of abnormal things going on ... But not having my standard doc at the health center actually ASK me about them, I fail to think about them hence me not bringing them up. In any event.... I feel better. Which is good, considering my body has got to carry me through about two more weeks of stress yet and support my brain function yet!

Science...Whee!!!

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making time...

So I'm finally getting in the habit of taking 10 minutes or so in the morning... just for me.  I make my coffee, sit down with an inspirational book/bible study, and focus on myself and my spiritual/emotional growth.

This is a big step for me, because my days are usually filled with work to meet someone else's deadline, errands to get something or other done, going places, making sure to do such and such for so and so.  Taking 10 minutes in the morning starts me off on the right, non-flustered foot.

Today's inspirational question was: What practical choices will you make today that will bring you deeper intimacy with God?  This is the first out of 11 questions in this book (that I've read so far, there are more...) that I've been stumped on.  I mean, I usually don't associate "practical decisions" and "spiritual growth".  I don't consider faith a "practical" choice per se... it's a "rational" choice, in that it makes sense to me with regards to my everyday emotional health and eternal destination, but "practical"?

It isn't "practical" to have to take an extra ten minutes for prayer and contemplation when I could be sleeping.  It isn't "practical" for someone living on a fixed income to donate to her parish/local charities.  It isn't "practical" for someone who has no free time to cram even more activity into her day to help others, to contribute her talents, to be a good and kind and semi-altruistic* person.  *I say semi-altruistic because true altruism is a myth... even if you don't "get" something out of your behavior, you get a good feeling and that counts as something...*

It is, however, rational to do all of those things, if you live a faith-based existence.  I have faith that living a life modeled after Christ will ultimately do me good.  That I will end up at "home" as many Christians say.  At the very least, taking Pasquale's wager will give you a shot at heaven, and if there isn't anything past this life, then you lived as a good and kind person who will be remembered fondly and leave a positive legacy and mark upon this world after you are gone.

I firmly believe in God the Father, maker of heaven and earth, and in Jesus Christ, His only son, our Lord... and I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic Church, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting (e.g. heaven).  (If you want more information on what a Catholic believes go read the Catechism, the teachings of the Catholic Church, online.  You can't say we're not technologically with the times!)

In any event, trying to reconcile my faith as a "practical" decision is a challenge.  I suppose, if it is concerning my everlasting end, that any choice I make towards that end is a practical choice, irregardless of its practicality in the here and now.  So today I make the practical decision to incorporate prayer and contemplation into my daily routine.  I make the practical decision to SLOW down and enjoy the rehearsal that is life, so that I don't miss the moments when God makes His presence known.

Here's to Pascal...

little things...

You know you're really hot when:

you can go to the Starbucks drive-through in your dirty car, with yesterday's makeup still on your face, on a Monday morning, with semi-bad hair, and STILL the following happens...

as the barista guy hands you your refilled mug and he says with a hopeful and very nice smile "don't worry about it, it's on me today."

[blush]  Thanks Starbucks Guy... I'm not ashamed to say that you made my week.  ;-)

3rd Year Student Seminar Presentation

I nailed it.  That is all.  :-)

(now on to finishing my candidacy exam, recycling the same talk for two more seminars, cloning a new set of mutants into my splice reporter system, sleeping, soaking my now hurt and blistered feet -- darn power heels! -- and trying to continue the trudgery that is GRADUATE SCHOOL...)

p.s.  The best part of getting my talk done the first week of the quarter, is that I "set the bar" with my "nice graphics"... and now I get to sit back and just ask questions of my classmates all quarter... MY LAST QUARTER of student seminar.  Yippee!!!

head out of sand

Gotta love lab mates.  I rewrote my stupid stupid exam... and had one read it.  "It reads really well."  Only minor comments.  I am not an idiot after all.  Emailed it to my advisor, who is out of town til Friday.  I am going home to take a nap now, then work out later.

Day 1 of the rest of it all

My big new experiment kinda worked.  Well, the controls worked.  And I got the result I expected -- not as fantastically beautious as I wanted, but it's headed in the right direction.  In my line of work, things don't always work they way you want them to, or ever for that matter.  You have to learn to be flexible, to analyze every angle, to not fall in love with the results you think you want -- because they may not be right, or possible, or whatever.

I'm learning to not be a perfectionist.  To focus more on the progress I have made/am making.  This has been a LONG journey and one I am constantly reminded throughout that it's about choices and how I react to things.

A lot of this has been applied to my life in the past year.  About a year ago, I was starting to realize I wasn't happy... that I felt as though my choices had been made for me or that I had made the wrong choice.  In retrospect, I didn't take responsiblity for my choices up til that point.

I have learned...

thinking things over and over doesn't make it any easier to take that first decision/action.

having even a little bit of faith in yourself changes everything.

all the people in the world aren't out to get you.

asking for what you want is the only way to get it.

realizing that you deserve to be happy is the first step to being happy.

figuring out what you want to be happy is the second step to being happy.

 

I do have to give credit to two of my friends for the roles the Big Guy Upstairs had them play to get me what I needed in my searching...

My friend Fonda gave me a lot of support right when I needed it.  I didn't have have anyone to really talk to about my life at that point, because I had so little time to build friendships.  She also gave me a great self-help book that I finished in three days. 

Steve... well, he was around.  A lot.  He started to become my friend and didn't place any expectations on me in our friendship.  I had NEVER had that happen to me before.  And he also let me know he cared about me -- not in a romantic way or anything.  He called me on New Year's eve when I was running late for a party my "gang" was to be at.  "Where are you?  Are you still coming?  Why are you late?  When are you going to get here?"  Bear in mind two things: 1) I don't usually run late.  2)  Steve very very rarely gets worked up about anything in a negative or positive way.  So it was pretty obvious that he cared if I showed up that night or not.  Up til that point, I figured he could have cared less, and that the only reason we really were hanging out was convenience (which didn't bother me because, hey, when your idea of a good time is staying up til 4 in the morning to make fun of "Elimadate" contestant
s, there aren't many people to share that with...).  So it was pretty significant to have someone actually care, let alone someone whom I was pretty sure didn't.

Shortly after that, I started living my life like I deserved happiness, success, love, and whatever else I wanted.  And I worked toward getting the things I thought would get me in the right direction.  I got some of them.  I grew up.  A LOT.  I'm still not perfect... but I'm headed in the right direction...