Tuesday, September 25, 2007


Having just purchased a used Apple Powerbook (because I am lazy about getting my old PC set up for home use), my goal in life has been to find wireless internet access.  I’ve priced out wireless for our house, I’m hunting for a reasonably priced wireless router, I’m constantly racking my brain for places to get wireless access that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg.


Items my search has procured:


1.  WOW cable has a KICK BUTT deal.  For just $5 more than what we pay for digital cable now, we can get digital cable, plus a free DVR, and internet.


2.  Local library = not enough computers for the patrons, but free wireless internet!  FREE! 


3.  Kinko’s internet = Slow and costs $0.15 per minute for computer/internet use.  But very good and nice sales guy now recognizes me by sight because I am constantly there making copies for my new business.


4. Panera Bread has free wi-fi.  FREE WIRELESS INTERNETS!!!  And… they give you FREE REFILLS on your coffee.


The Problem of no internet access at home is solved.  Mental breakdown has been averted.

Friday, September 21, 2007

september slump

So the days are getting shorter.  I could actually wear a sweater today and not be too hot.  It’s near fall – the fall equinox is this weekend.


I’ve had some down days this week too.  That’s another way I know it is soon fall.  My depression always acts up in the fall and winter – my doc thinks there is a bit of the Seasonal Affective Disorder connected to my symptoms.  I’m really worried about having a relapse of my depression in the next few months.  I’ve been doing well, but I think I am finally coming down from the manic pace of the summer, despite adding things to my plate as of late.


I think what relieves some of the worry, however, is that I have a support system set up this time.  Unfortunately, my tendency at times like these is to withdraw - which of course is counter to the idea of using the support system to snap back.



Tuesday, September 18, 2007

what every one needs to watch...

THIS is great.  Just what I needed today.


Although I started WeightWatchers two weeks ago, and have LOST weight… I now weigh 245.




I am 5’ 8”.  When I tell people how much I weigh, they never believe me.  I wear at size 18-20, depending on the style, cut, etc.  I fit into a size 2X.  I HAVE BOOBS.  And a BUTT.  Believe it or not, one of my concerns about switching to a healthy lifestyle is that I will lose my curves.  They are a part of my identity.  I have never been a small girl.  I will never BE a small girl.  But I can and will be an in-shape girl, who can take three flights of stairs at work and not get winded.  A girl who can swim laps and keep up with her former-lifeguard/swimmer husband.


When I started WW the intent was strictly to lose weight.  I’m changing my mind.  It’s now to change my lifestyle – to incorporate healthy food, food that isn’t healthy that I love anyway, and more exercise!!! – to change my attitude towards food – to be able to have the ice cream.  Joy is right – life is too short to not live it.  I will eat my full fat, loaded with sugar, full of flavor ice cream now.  And you?  The person who judges me for eating ice cream, for telling me I don’t “need” it?  Well, enjoy your tasteless fat free frozen yogurt with no flavor in a futile attempt to deny yourself any of life’s small pleasures in pursuit of the skinny jean (which doesn’t look good on ANYONE).  If I’m going to eat ice cream, I’m going to eat Godiva Belgian Chocolate ICE CREAM.


Can you hand me a spoon please?  Thanks.



Friday, September 07, 2007

just another manic Monday...

Not having work on Monday is supposed to be a good thing, but it just made Tuesday worse.  Not only was it Monday at work, it was Monday at home.  And after three days of no crazy pills (because they were not packed for the weekend trip…), that is not a good thing.


But the weekend was fun – camping with my folks and having no chores to do but sit around and drink beer, do word puzzles, and just BE.


I think what made Tuesday overwhelming was my decision to start a small business.  I have the first of my inventory on its way as I write this.  I’m hopeful and excited, but also nervous and overwhelmed by all the little stuff I have to do in order to get started.  First task: to set up my computer - reformat the hard drive, invest in better software (business expense) and internet connectivity (business expense) to help manage everything.  Now, considering I am really my own boss at this, I can’t technically get dooced, but I’m not going to tempt fate any further since I do have people helping me out and a company supplying inventory (both of which can cut me out like a bad skin tag if they feel like it).  That’s the thing with contractual agreements – both parties have an “out” clause for “no fault at all reasons.”  Suffice it to say, I’m excited about the opportunity to make a little extra money and to have something I can call my own ambition.

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