I have been worrying. I'm a third year graduate student. I have three talks to give in the next three months, my poster for the Comprehensive Cancer Center Scientific Meeting, and giving the same poster for the College research day. By now, I thought I had mastered doing multiple "assignments" at once, but now I find myself struggling with a) the confidence that I can and b)actually doing it.
Why can't I just get over myself already? I know that I am not perfect, yet I strive to be, I push myself to be in every aspect. I set myself up for defeat, knowing that I cannot be perfect, yet I expect this of myself. Mostly because I think everyone else expects it of me. Very few people do expect it of me, when it comes down to it. So I think "good enough" will work for me for now.
I am toying with the idea of running away. Or, at the very least, waiting to "run away" until I am retired. I have decided that what I really want to do after I retire from sciency stuff is to run my own travel/tour agency. Where we take/organize fun trips that aren't too jam packed, that focus on the journey, and that include lots of out of the way spots and awesome hidden bite-to-eat experiences. Ultimately, it would be a small group type experience, which the tours never exceeding more than 15 people or so. This I think is a good idea, and is something that I could make a BOATLOAD of money doing and like it as a retirement "job." Plus, I do want to travel when I retire, so why not make money at it?!?!