AH!

My thesis is finished. I think. I am walking away from it... saved in multiple places. I have to take a break. I am hoping to print it out and check it out on Saturday or Monday, then make any changes I need to... then to print it out for the graduate school. I am SOOOO tired.

Nicole

defense

:-)

I passed!

Now I just have to finish up and get these papers and myself out of here...I start my new job on January 8 - I won't say where, but it is my DREAM JOB. Gives me even more proof that this (leaving grad school with my Masters) is the right decision.

in... and out...

Oiy.

My masters thesis defense/meeting is tomorrow. Please pray extra hard for me today and tomorrow. I am trying not to obsess. I am trying to go over what I do know, and refreshing my memory and keeping things straight. I am confident - I know my stuff. I am just a little worried that I'll forget that when I set foot in that room.

I just have to remember to pull myself together if that happens. I remember my candidacy exam, I feel apart when I didn't know the answer to something. It was all down hill from there. But the last time I presented, I didn't know the answer to a question. Some discussion ensued, and I had a moment to recognize I was losing it. So I took a deep breath, told myself to pull it together, and did. Then I finished the presentation and did well. So I KNOW I can do this. I deserve this! I have worked and worked and worked, and yea, I am not staying to finish my Ph.D., but at the very least, I deserve to be recognized for the work I have done!

Just breathe. Deep breaths. Try not to pass out or hyperventilate.

Christmas goodness

There is a-plenty of Christmas around. ALL OVER MY FLOOR. ALL OVER MY FIANCE'S FLOOR. I just can't seem to get any of it on the tree. I'm not feeling the Christmas spirit this year. I only bought presents online, and because I felt obligated to get everyone something. Christmas music holds no appeal. I don't fully understand this. Part of it may be the little bit of depression, but I am feeling particularly low this season. The past few ones have been low, since my grandfather passed away during the holiday season in 2000, but usually I can still manage to enjoy it to an extent, while still honoring those memories of him.

This year, though, there is more emotional and physical baggage. A LOT OF stuff going on. I am motivated to do everything else, because also on my floor/my fiance`'s floor are...

-) at least four loads of laundry (how I have yet to run out of underwear is a question of cosmic quantum mechanics).

-) about ten pairs of shoes

-) various wedding accessories

-) books books and more books

That, and I just finished my written masters thesis yesterday. My brain hurts. Time for some weekend celebrating...WHOOOT WOOT!